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Confusions.

Well, this is my only chance to write on my blog again, might as well grab the chance. I’m in PUP today, school. Accountancy week’s about to close, and I’m bored. I just hope this day gets better, I don’t know but something’s awfully wrong with me. I feel bored and worried.

Next subjects are Literature, Accounting and [I'm pretty much sure that there's no class for this] English. Awarding is from 4pm-8pm. The only thing I’m looking forward to for today is our Anniversary, kita-kits sa mga pupunta! ;)
I’m really not okay, God. Things have been bothering me for the past few weeks. I’m not okay. Everything’s coming back, everything that existed when I was in my freshman year in high school. This is so not like what I was hoping for. I feel I’m so weak inside a brand new crowd, what do I do?

This is the greatest challenge yet God has given me, to make friends with a secular crowd, and it feels all weird inside and out. I’m so not used to this.

Bottom Line: God help me.

I can’t really tell how much I love my mother. Sometimes hindi kami nagkakasundo, sometimes we really get mad at each other, sometimes nasasagot ko siya, sometimes, haay, sometimes I just could bring myself to regret the chances I had when I could just say, “Ma, I love you.” to her.

But still NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS or what happened I still love her, kasi she only wanted his son to be happy, she only wanted also to be happy, at pati rin sa sis-in-law ko; she just wanted what was best for her children.

May 1. An urgency came on, a BIG family problem, it wasn’t suppose to happen, if only things kept silent and personal. I got home from an overwhelming night at Church, when I got home I went here, at our computer shop…

Later when I went home, things were getting a little frustrating, we were hearing loud thuds from upstairs, there was an uproar, and it wasn’t minor. God’s leading me to something on this… So my mom eventually got upstairs, well it got a little out-of-hand, it ended up getting worse.

My mother didn’t want to see my sister-in-law anymore, she was mad, REALLY mad. In fact she was so mad, my father can’t even talk to him clearly, she was so mad.

May 2. Early in the morning, my sister-in-law left. My brother was crying when he called out knocking on our parent’s room, “She left.” “Why did you let her leave?” my mom answered.

May 3. Sunday. Things were getting pretty weird.

May 4. My sister-in-law went home secretly, early morning, and left. My mom, doesn’t like sneaking in or out. That’s rude.

May 5. Everything at home was okay already. Except my brother who just can’t get over what had happened.

Fault finding, it’s jealousy’s fault.

My brother tried to explain things to my mom, how the problem was entirely a misunderstanding, there was no other guy, there was no problem with his wife; but the real problem was our mom’s relationship with my sister-in-law. They had never adjusted to each other since the dawn of my brother’s relationship with her.

My brother can really be obsessive at times, and he really loves his wife; the thing is when jealousy strikes, it’s another problem.

My brother went off with my nephews, when they came back, everything fine got to everything wrong again.

May 6. My sister’s birthday. My mom went off, brought everything she needs to our home in Rizal. I can tell she was outraging now, she can’t handle the fact that my sister-in-law was in our home.

But she went home, eventually, to go with my father at his office. To take some time to relax.

It was a really tiring day for me, it was bad enough that my family’s in a major upheaval. But I never lost my faith in God.

When everything’s left me, when everything doesn’t seem right anymore, I can handle it, because I have my faith in Him.

May 7. My mom officially went to Rizal, she should be staying there for as long as she wants, as long as God wants. Things are getting worse, every day. But I ain’t losing hope on the fact that things would be okay again, better, it’s hard. Hindi lang naman basta sila lang ang nahihirapan, KAMI rin nadadamay.

Bottom Line: Praying.

A fresh start.

I would never had blogged anything about this, if only it weren’t bothering me for days.

I read Hosea the other night, and it was overwhelming, I always get overwhelmed at things like this, THE LOVE OF GOD. ;) It was superb!

From hating the wrong stuff I did, he still loved me, he still loves me. Kahit na ang mga bagay ngayon ay temporarily not okay, by God’s grace, it will turn into a beautiful episode one day, and we’ll all learn a lesson on it. EVENTUALLY. Hahaha. ;) I’m still happy, kasi I’ve been an overcomer.

Grabe super love talaga ako ng Lord, tsk, sobra!

I love you God, and I’m sorry if I stepped on others. I fall humbly at your feet asking for your forgiveness, for I have sinned.

I love you Mama, hindi ako galit sa’yo, siguro magulo lang talaga isip mo ngayon, pero hindi pa rin magbabago pagtingin ko sa’yo, mama pa rin kita, at I give you importance, kahit na sometimes you’d rather have things your own way, I’m still thankful kasi hindi mo ‘ko pinabayaan. :D I love you Martney, and I’m sorry if I ever judged you, that wasn’t my job, it’s God’s.

Bottom Verse: “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV

Because of Leeland’s song, again, my faith brought me to this overwhelming point, again. :) I’m just so happy that he saved me. That he actually went through all that for me. I remember my Victory Weekend experience, when Pastor Ed shared this beautiful rendition of Jesus’ suffering from Passion of the Christ, the song playing in the background was We Are the Reason by Gary Valenciano…

Now the song’s playing in my head; “Angeli, you are the reason why I gave up my life, you are the reason why I suffered and died, to a world that was lost I gave all I could give, to show you the reason to live.”

It’s such an amazing song, and of course the conclusion of the whole story was: He loves me so much. I can tell that he loves me more than I deserve. Just like a father who’d risk his life for his child, this is Jesus. ;)
Maybe now I’m still a bit confused on why things had to happen like this. Why I have to suffer. I have to suffer because I also have to share his sufferings. It’s being fair. I’m okay now. I think kulang lang ako ng time para sa sarili ko lately at time ko para kay God. I need my complete quiet time back. My personal time with Him. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me lately.

He still remains glorious in my life.

Bottom: He shall reign over my life.

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Picture Survey.

Stolen from Ubay.

Life. Camera. ACTION!

1. A latest solo picture. No matter how it looks like.

This is for my college application picture.
(it’s like a mug shot eh? HAHAHA.)

2. A latest picture with someone. No matter how it looks like.

Mika’s after graduation party.
(Credits: Mik)

3. A most beloved picture.

Magkakapatid and Apos.
(Only missing three; my Kuya Andy and his wife Aye Dyan;
Ate Madel, my elder bro’s wife.)


4. A picture you hate.

I hate this because; I wasn’t prepared. HAHAHA.
(Credits: Geno, thank you grrr!!!)

5. A picture of all time.

It was my last Prom night; and it was cute. ;P


6. A picture of you in a poker face.

Is this POKER-ish enough? :)) I don’t mind.


7. A picture of you in a wacky face.

Me with my niece Biel, we like to call her “Bibay”*.
(*she sings the song “Makulay ang buhay” on her own: ♫”Bibaaay!!!”♫)


8. A picture with your best girl friend for girls. And girl best friend for boys.

Girls Friends Forever.


9. A picture with your best guy friend for boys. And guy best friend for girls.

Best BOY friends LOL ^___~
(Awii and Xin Ai, rawr! ;];
and JunJun, unfortunately I have no picture of him, sad.)


10. A picture of you doing a hobby.

Yes, photography is my passion. LOL
(The thing is I don’t have my own cam;
care to buy me one? Contact me! HAHAHA!!!)


11. A picture that you wish you could get back to.

Having her. I miss her. I love her. Mwa! :))


12. A picture of you dancing.

PROM Night, the night of nights.
(Song: Can I Have This Dance)


13. A picture of you laughing.

Prom again, okay so tinatamad na’ko maghanap ng iba e. :))


14. A whole body picture.

C’mon, humor me.
(I’m not going to say where/what this place is, it’s going to ruin the reputation of the Filipinos.)

15. A close up picture.

Up-close and personal.


16. A picture of you eating/drinking.

Eating is my PASSION too!!! :))


17. A picture of you kissing someone.

Or TRYING to kiss someone.
(Nah! It’s scripted! LOL)



18. A picture of you looking intently at someone.

Angeli: Oy Pat, naligo ka ba?
Pat: Waa?! Nakalimutan ko. Pa’nu mo nalaman?
Kai: Bahala kayo dyan, pa-picture nga.
HAHAHAHAHA.



19. A picture of you in a formal wear.

Ahaha. I forgot what my favorite caption on this picture was.
Anyway, I loved it. ;)
Or was it: “the right guy and my dream guy”? I forgot. Er.
It was a long time ago, and it was a dark time. :))


20. A picture of you looking stupid.

It’s SUMMER! :)) Kaya wala nang tubig, nag-evaporate! LOL

Bottom Line: Picture! Picture!

Heartbreaking?

Breaking me into small pocket size pieces.

This isn’t an issue. It’s not even argumentative. I’m just happy, that time. Rude, yes, weird, yes, painful, I guess, and heartbreaking… I can’t lose my patience with anyone; I can’t. It’s not nice and deceitful. I don’t want to break God’s heart. I don’t. Clearly, I see my self on the letting go process but then again they start shooting arrows at me, AGAIN.

It’s terrible. I’ve been over it. I AM OVER IT, but why?

The issues, keeps coming back to me. It’s all coming back to me now. Like I really shiver when I hear her voice, I can’t seem to look straight into her eyes when she’s staring at mine too. Creepy-slash-ridiculous. It’s been two and a half years for goodness’ sake, but I’m still struggling to fight with the trembling effect of her in me. Yes, I tremble. I ask God why this is - and I’m planning on confronting this fear - happening. It’s nothing, it’s WAY over. I want to LOVE her, like a sister, like a sister in Christ.

I think it’s not normal really. Having thought of her as a neighbor, a regular customer, a person but a friend? There the question lies, I’ve been over with Ara, I’ve been over the jealousy, I’ve been over EVERYTHING from the past - but now, it’s really STUPID that I STILL FEEL THIS. It gives me the chills - you know, the feeling of horror inflicted in movies, it gets you that feeling or compare it with the feeling that you broke something that your mom loves so much - you can tell when she gets in here, I feel that.

I think it’s unfair that I’m like this to her - I don’t even know if she knows a thing. But YES, I know. But I guess she got over it sooner than I thought. BUT AM I?

I want to TALK to her, like be FRIENDS with her, but there’s something wrong with me. God can you please help me with this? It’s just getting weirder and weirder the more I try to calm myself. It’s really FRUSTRATING?

Luscious, no it’s DISTURBING.

God I know you know about this, please - help me get over it. It’s BAD!
Bottom Line: Praying.

I’ve never come to regret the times I’ve actually failed my self, which lead me to where I am right now, the decisions I’ve made, no, never; it’s just that, I’ve never thought it would be like this, that it would actually end up like this.

I’m quite depressed at the moment. Too depressed that I’ve conquered it. My friends, I love them so much that I want to kill them, hahahaha. I’ll never forget them. Maybe I’ve just been careless, too confident and too LOUD. :D
I can’t blame anyone; not in the way some of my friends think. I can’t blame anyone but myself. I was stupid; I was all the time stupid. Reckless. It feels like it doesn’t have to be this way but I’m so upset about it.

So to cut the commotions short, I’m not an honor student anymore. Got an 84 (1st Qtr. TLE) and an 82 (2nd Qtr. TLE). Sheesh. I guess it’s fair enough. My heart says, “Ok, its fine.” but my mind argues and says, “No, you deserve to be IN!” Get the logic of my situation? I just can’t get over the fact that I’ve disappointed my mother, and father, I guess it’s not my season; well, it is, but not for the better side.

Strained. I always knew it could happened, I just never thought it WOULD actually happen. Hahahaha. Like I said earlier, I didn’t thought it would end up like this. I never really anticipated for this to happen - I’m such a loser! :D
Well, anyway, I can’t  say I’ve lost it. I still have my life to live. Never get tired of it, because you can always lose it anytime. It could hurt so bad you would’nt have a reason to believe in anymore.

As soon as I got home, I logged on the computer and sent my bestfriend a message (she’s in the States right now.) saying:

Angeli
Posted 03/23/2009 9:26 pm

“hey.. I’m not an honor student anymore. :)
just wanted you to know.. i guess i’m feeling what you felt exactly when we were in grade six.

and i actually cried over it; it hurts.. i guess i’ve expected too much. it’s weird, a bit frustrating really - i can’t believe i’m OUT; goodbye dream team hahaha, i love you..

and miss you; wish you were here to comfort me.. and bebi too; it could’ve been NICER to have you here, can’t say how much I miss you now - it’s really killing me, hahaha, i want to talk to you about this. :)

i so really want to talk to you - i feel like crying again (but you know i can’t cry in public places! hahahaha, i just feel like i’m going to *rawr*) i’m so upset.

i love you..
and miss you.

i want to hug you right now. ^_________^
laab you so much.”

So she gave me a reply saying:

Danika
Posted 03/24/2009 8:54 am

“hey :)

aRe yOu okay?

yeah i wiSh i wAs tHere tO coMfOrt yOu…

aNyways, you’ll GET OVER IT soOner or later!

i kNow hOw yOu feeL T_T

jUst mOve oN aNd jUst faCe the fUture :)

tHere a LoT mOre 2 cOme for yOu aNd fOr us..

sOooo yeah…i miSsssssssss yOuuuuu tOooooO!

aNd i el-oh-vee-ee sOooo mUcho!

i wiSh marTney ishhh taKing caRe of yOu…

depEnd oN hiM :D

aja aja fiGhtiNg!

prOmise me yOu wOn’t cRy aNymOre…?!

*pinky promise*

i love u bestttiieee”

I actually thought last night that I’d never get over this, but as time passes, God gives this inner healing in you, I’d never lost a place, I’d never received a failing grade, nor did I received a line of seven; it’s just that standards are higher now, and that 82, can never help me. I can say I’ve understood everything now; that dark silhouette never stays for too long; just a while, (Q: how long is a while? A: I don’t know ask Edward Cullen! Hahaha.) to be really serious about how I feel right now, ask Jeremiah 29:11, for God has set plans for me, plans to prosper and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. ;) So it doesn’t hurt anymore.

I thank sir Reggie for making me sort ready for this; though that plan didn’t really work out so much. It did help, a little, but you know, hahaha, I don’t know, I’m just over it. ;)
I thank Lempot, Patricia so much for comforting me; and for not leaving me that day hahaha; for JunJun, na ipinag-lalaban talaga ang karapatan ko; kay Percival na super-papa talaga, ideal guy, for Awii, sa place niyo parang nawala lahat ng kalungkutan ko, you’re a really sweet guy; At kay Mami Berna, kay Ma’am Tess, Ma’am Millon, Ma’am Jelly — you’ve all been nice to me, ay si Titser Mhel pa pala, harhar, at Titser Anne, basta lahat na nga lang, amp, hahaha, ang dami niyo kasi e. I love you Jemma, Bebs — K, lahat as in lahat, James, Paul, and everyone else na naging comfort people ko kahapon, rawr. Sa mga first year na nag-comfort sa’kin kanina, “Ate Angel, okay lang yan.” at kay Kainah syempre. WAHAHA. THANK YOU. I LAB YOU.

At kila Papa at Mama ko na tanggap itong let down na’to. THANK YOU.


Bottom Line: Friends, are really can’t live withouts.

Created yesterday, finished today.

At 4:16am this morning I got a text message from my brother; it sort of was a bad news - knowing that death is something that’s not really for rejoicing - so, I got the message, I read the message that says; “Nanay Tayang passed away 2:30am”.

I don’t know what had been happening last night, all I know was I was super sleepy, and that I want to rest from all the stupid projects - rest.

Last Sunday, March 1, my brother had been texting my father about updates on Nanay’s situation, by the way she’s my Lola sa tuhod and died at the age of 91, he said that she’s been having a hard time breathing, infairness to my Lola she’s never been the source of hirap in the family of four at our province, Samar; if it weren’t for her stumble not so long ago while walking back from the market, she could srill have been walking and fishing for groceries in the public market; she’s a strong woman - my Lolo sa tuhod passed away ahead of her, and she got through all that pain of losing a daughter; my Nanay Conching passed away at age 63 because of Pancreatitis. I couldn’t say that I wouldn’t miss her; my Nanay Tayang’s daughter was the closest Lolas I had, while my Lolo sa tuhod I never got into his time.

My Nanay Tayang’s last words (to my ate); as translated because her dialect is Waray, “Punta kayo ‘pag namatay ako a, wala nang mag-aalaga kay Iya (my youngest aunt),” and she were searching for her eldest son Tatay Pater, “…hindi na’ko binisita ni Pater.” The most painful thing I feel is that she died alone, in her room. Evening yesterday, my brother had texted Papa that Nanay was okay already, and because of inevitability, she passed away at 2:30am.Shocked by the news, when my mom finally woke up, I told her the news - then she woke my father. “Pa, patay na daw si Nanay.” my mom said, “Ha? E kakasabi lang kagabi okay na daw ah?” said my dad. So that was how it went, exactly when my father woke, my Tita were awake and he had to talk to her right away.

Last Sunday, was the last episode of our series in church, it was entitled: LEGACY; it’s what you leave behind in case you have gone or so. I guess what my Nanay Tayang’s legacy left for us is that; to continue to love and to have perseverance. God has a purpose for everything, and every pain has the best purpose, it is for us to learn to lean on God in times of struggles. The best way to live is to spend it with God and with the people you love; the best way to love is to love unconditionally, to love others as brothers, not judge; because they’re are just as fouled up as we are, forgiveness is the solution and love is the key; the best way to learn is through your struggles and hope for the wisdom of God to shine upon you; and the best way to leave a great legacy is to live, love and learn as if nothing had hurt you in the past, because you are filled with Jesus Christ’s love; to have shown your hope for a heaven that God had prepared for you.

Death is not the end, well actually for worldly beings it is, but in God’s point of view, death is just the start. ;) A humble beginning.

I don’t know what’s into me right now, I don’t know if I should be broken or sad; but there is one sure thing that is in my mind today, and it was that she’s in a happy place now, her devotion to her faith never stopped and I’m a witness to that faith. God could not have given her that 91 years here on earth if he hadn’t had a purpose for it; and there it is, he opened a heart out of us who were stumbling out of the crisis. God had answered a prayer and that is for my Nanay Tayang to have that heavenly vacation - a never ending one. :)
She’s with Jesus now - I am sure of that, one day we’ll ALL be with her again.

Bottom Line: For I am convinced that neither DEATH nor LIFE can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 ;)

Sometimes when we’re really hurt, where do we run to? We get hopeless, thinking NO ONE UNDERSTANDS, NO ONE CARES, NO ONE LOVES YOU…

1.God is truly in control. If God is God, then nothing happens apart from His knowledge and permission. While it is difficult to imagine why God allows some painful things to happen, His character, revealed in the Bible and through the testing of generations, leads us to the conclusion that He is willing and able to sustain you during the worst of times. “We were crushed and completely overwhelmed, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we learned not to rely on ourselves, but on god who can raise the dead. 2 Corinthians 1:8,9

2. There is an eternal life to come. “Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the Glory He will give us later.” Romans 8:18 “He will keep you strong right up to the end, and He will keep you free from all blame on the great day when our Lord Jesus Christ returns.” 1 Corinthians 1:8

3. The story isn’t finished yet. Time after time, the Bible records hopeless situations that ultimately ended in victory. Think of Job’s sickness, Joseph’s betrayal by his brothers, David’s adultery and the many who were healed in mind, body and spirit. “But Joseph told them, ‘Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, to judge and punish you? As far as I am concerned, God turned into good what you meant for evil. He brought me to the high position I have today so I could save the lives of many people.’” Genesis 50:19,20

4. God has not given up on you! Don’t give up on him. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

5. There is likely purpose in your pain. Ask God to reveal His purpose in allowing this difficulty in your life. That’s a legitimate question to ask. Often, the answer comes in the process of dealing with your circumstance. Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything. James 1:2-4

6. You are loved! Even the most unlovable person in the world is actually loved so much by God, that He let His Son die a terrible death to restore their relationship. God does love you! He sees your pain and weeps with you. “He has sent Me to comfort the brokenhearted and to announce that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent Me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lords’ favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies. To all who mourn in Israel, He will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the Lord has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for His own glory. Isaiah 61:1-3

7. Your prayers are heard. You parents - if your children ask you for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him? Matt. 7:9,10

8. You are not facing this alone. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never forsake you.” That is why we can say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper, so I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” Hebrews 13:5,6

9. Others have made it through - you can too. Try to connect with others who have gone through similar situations. You will find hope, strength and encouragement. A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back- to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple- braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

10. Reach out to someone else who’s struggling. Place your focus on someone else and invest your life in him or her. You may discover that your peace of mind is found in being a source of hope for another. All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 2 Corinthians 1:3,4

God is a wonderful God. He listens, he cares, he loves, he understands and nothing can separate us from him. God has a purpose for your life, your existence here on earth is not an accident. He wants you. He likes to win you back. The question is… will you come back to him?

Let us do all things for the greater glory of God! ;)


Source:

Ate Cecille; Victory Christian Fellowship Friendster Forum
http://www.friendster.com/group-discussion/index.php?t=msg&th=2766839&start=0&

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV)
This life isn’t about you, or is it about me. This isn’t about us. It’s about Jesus.
It’s all about HIM.

PUP and Retreat

January 23, 2009 - 5.30am - 10.30am @ PUP

This post was created today, but the words refer to the time I went to the locations.

So yesterday (Jan 22) we went to PUP to get my permit. Unfortunately I got rejected because I didn’t had a seal on my form, it was my first time to go there, with Martney, I was so, let me say it this way, naasar, hahaha. “Sayang pamasahe,” I say to my self walking home from the main building “nakakaasar talaga! Hahahaha, okay lang atleast naka-punta na’ko at alam ko na rin kung pa’no! Hahahaha”. Nakakahiya tuloy kay MatMat. Hmp! :))

Today (Jan 23). My brother accompanied me to the campus, he was sort of my tour guide, he was the university’s alumni back in 2001, I think? PUP is a state university, sabi nga ni ate Livi nung retreat, hindi ibig sabihin kapag mura panget na, at hindi rin ibig sabihin mahal maganda na ang form ng education, she’s from UP by the way, Philosophy major and studying law at the moment, well that was — cool. ;)
I believe her, it doesn’t necessarily mean na kapag mura e wala nang kwenta. :) Money is something but it’s not everything, sabi ni Ptr. Jonathan. Saan ka nakakita ng public university na may Olympic size pool at largest library in the whole Southeast Asia/Asia (correct me if I’m wrong, ‘yun kasi ang sabi ng aking kuya ^^,). Regardless if it’s known as the home of the student activist, it still depends on the students if they would join the groups.

We went to the Admission’s Office, it was super haba ng pila! It wasn’t like that yesterday, maybe because we went there afternoon na. So, puro so, yeah, hahahaha. Ayun. My brother toured me all over the campus - from his old class room from east wing to the north wing - explaining every feature. Bwahahaha. It was a nice experience - he was a nice tour guide.

We stopped by at Cubao to eat, and then he left me - I had to go home early ’cause I was running for my retreat. He had to go to Gilmore for PC stuff.

January 23, 2009 - 12.30pm - 3.00am @ WCC Campus - Luntiang Paraiso, Giginto-Bulacan

As usual I had to come late, it’s a bit sad ’cause being late is growing in me. :( Not so late though, I arrived 15 minutes early in time to board the bus. But eventually I had to go to Circle-T to by necessary stuff - for some important purposes.

In the bus
It was sooo hot. Ivan kept on complaining about the heat, “Ito na ba ‘yung 1.6k?”, and so did Martney, “1.6k na ba ‘to?” and so I tried to make them shut their mouth - “Hoy, ‘wag ganun.” But they ignored me. People. When will they ever learn to be mature enough? :P
We stopped at a gasoline station sa NLEX - seeing Starbucks you can hear my classmates cheering for it. “Wow, bili tayo dali,” mumured someone “sir, pwede po bang bumaba?”, “Hindi” sir Panizal replied. “300 lang pera ko, Starbucks pa? Ayos.” Roel added. “Ang tagal naman, magkano ba ‘yung pinakarga Angel?” Ivan asked, “2000 ata, oo, 2000 nga.” I said.

The trip
We opened the windows by the way, we can’t take the heat anymore. It was weird why we had to take that bus. :P Hahahaha. I was listening to Can I Have This Dance over and over again, LSS, gosh, it made me fall for HSM again. ;) The heart of a kid and the mind of an adult: that’s me; maybe that’s why I enjoy being a teenager so much, I’m in between. High school, I will surely miss you.

Knowing how this trip was going to end - there was only one thing in my mind, we’ll all be leaving the school soon - much sooner, a month left to go and it’s goodbye high school and hello to co-llege? Hahaha. I can’t still accept that I’m so old, I’m not supposed to be like this am I? I’m supposed to be happy, yey! I’m leaving WCC at last, but I’ll surely miss the people who made my life meaningful there, ten years there, gosh, that’s the longest stay I’ve ever made. And every year the people you meet added that every percent of memory in your life.

The arrival
Bulacan is a very beautiful place. I remember four years ago, Bulacan was our destination in our field trip, Pulilan - Butterfly Heaven, and I wonder if 8 Waves belong to that part of Bulacan. ;) Graduating years; these are the days, we might as well make good use of it - the time is very fragile - use it for important things. ;) Happy memories.

Ang habang intro nun for this paragraph - so we arrived in a very big house - it’s a resort named Luntiang Paraiso situated at Giginto, Bulacan. It was pink, cute; and the rooms were air-conditioned, with Cable-TV and a refrigerator (except that the ref was empty. O.o LOL). Double-deck beds, and a bathroom - of course it is a hotel so they provide slippers, towels, toothbrush, shampoo, toothpaste and that Bioderm soap, the smell, I can’t get over with :))

Our room was green/pink I completely forgot. Oh yeah, the entrance was full of baging like a jungle, hahaha, it had three pools, one medium size - where most of us swam; a big one, super lalim - the boys enjoyed a lot, it was sooo deep; and a kiddie pool - no one swam in it ’cause everybody thought it was dirty! Hahahaha. Oh yeah, we had cute name tags - sort of reminded me of our Get Connected 2007! Recollection at WCC-QC. Ma’am Malou, your preaching that time was awesome. I will never forget you! :D And you’re so pretty! ^.~

Introduction: Identity (Conference Room)
Our theme for this year was DOTA: Developing Our Traits and Assets, lead by Ptr. Al Termulo. I was moved by his message, though now I sort of forgot what actually his points were. Sorry. But I’ll get some info on the things he pointed out. :P I wasn’t paying attention in writing that time. I was just listening. ;)
We watched “Father’s Love Letter”, if you don’t know this yet click here. If the link doesn’t work try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKmdIdQg3Ks (well of course this wasn’t the version the leader’s used, they had one made by them.)

But before that, we had a relay game. Human BING-O, sort of, we had to get every boxed signed by someone who’d do the action, it was fun. Martney, Rhonette and Katrina won. Game-ish people really. They don’t really like to lose. So ni-career nila yung event na ‘yun. Hahahaha. ;P

Molding of Character - Ptr. Al Termulo
Now this was the time I got to my senses - we discussed our responses to the following what was the way we do and the righteous way:

Elaborating Luke 5:1-11
We turned to 3 points:

The Adversity Test
How do you respond to failure?

The Authority Test
How do you respond to authority?

The Affluence Test
How do you respond to success?

I should’ve written the POWER points, but I guess I didn’t do it. Ahahahaha. ;P

The swimming
We didn’t got our free time, ’cause we had took over-time. :) But it was good, kabitin nga lang. So we ate dinner, yummy naman yung food. After that the leaders declared that we have our free time kasi we finished our dinner early. Some stayed I think for Prayers and Counseling — the leaders and teachers stayed at the Conference Room while we start dressing up for the swimming. Everyone was so excited about swimming, guys did the stunts (weird stunts and considering the malicious stunts), we played until 12.00 in the morning. Some had the sing-along; it was a very enjoying moment for all of us — we actually wanted to stay longer but we were supposed to turn the lights of at exactly 12.00am.

But we are still the hard-headed batch of fourth year - ever - I think. Some of us stayed as late as 6.30am and that was supposed to be our call-time for waking up. Talk about staying up late - early. Hahahaha.

I was one of those - freaks. Honestly I just slept for two-hours. At 1.00am Rhonette and I can’t sleep so we wander up and down the stairs, down at the Conference Room for food - coffee, hot choco - Jjamphong! Hahahaha. Played the guitar. Obviously I can’t get over it - time was so fast and the next time I’ll be making an entry I’ll be talking about our graduation - time. Gosh, it’s so fast like it’s playing in fast-forward. :P
I can’t sleep - Aleli was bothered, I thought she was so bored and just wanted to get the right position in sleeping but she talked to me - prayed for me. This was the time the whole loving rebuke happened. I sort of wished Renalyn was there, honestly she’s in a need of that - prayers. Rhonette, Aleli and I slept in Room 1 - together with the female leaders. It was cute ’cause Ma’am Genie chose us to be their room mates - sweet! ^_____^

So after that Aleli didn’t really sleep yet, she ate her junkfoods, “Masama sa katawan ‘yan!” I said whispering, “Oo nga! Bigay mo na lang dito yan.” Rhonette said while talking with her suitor over the phone. Oh yeah, Ivan paid us a visit - weird. So Ma’am Genie had to shut him up and shun him out - Hahaha. “Ivan, you’re not supposed to be here.” she said, and so Rhonette and I laughed by that time Aleli was asleep. It was weird ’cause we were still talking then a little while she’s fast asleep. Martney entered our room often, asking me to come out - and so I did. Around two o’clock we were still at their room, Matthew, Michael, Sir Panizal were all crazed on playing their PSPs I’m not even sure that was allowed. Sir Jem was asleep, soundly. Alfonso and Bay were outside - Roel was asleep with Richard in the other room. James and MC were ghost hunting like whatever they didn’t saw anything - just want to kill themselves with weird thoughts.  I even saw them trying to open doors one-by-one on our corridor. Weird really. Then a little later shouts were heard coming from Kaye’s room and the sound of MC and James ridiculous scary minggles.

It was tiring staying up so late around 4.30, I had fallen asleep for about 45 minutes - so Martney called me out to the lobby - I said I couldn’t take it anymore, I got the food from the ref and gave it to him, so I blame my self for causing him the headache the morning after - he was so up so late because of the chocolate content on the chips I gave him. :P
Around 5.30am I woke up expecting that he would still be awake - though it was forbidden to go up there - not so forbidden - but girls weren’t supposed to be at the boys’ lounge. To my surprise he was still asleep, he was so peaceful — I tried to take off his slippers, but he hesitated and almost kicked me. They were all asleep except Mark “Bay”, he was the one to open the doors - I think he didn’t sleep.

So I got downstairs, little by little my classmates were waking up - Sir Reggie was awake, so we took pictures of our classmates while they were sleeping, it was fun! Hahahaha. And so the wake up time passed around 7.00am some dressed up for swimming — boys were early swimming — but we still had our last session at 9.00am so they had to like umahon kaagad. Hahahaha. ;)
Like Bella or Edward — calculating that time — the night swimming with my classmates, is one of the best nights of my life. And I’ll cherish that as long as I live.

At breakfast Percival mentioned that, “Hindi na mauulit ‘to, I mean, itong magkakasama tayo.” I believe him, “Once in a lifetime.” he added, “Oo nga e, college na tayo next year.” I said, it’s true, that was our last gathering together, not like that’s going to happen again - might as well make the best out of it right?

The teachers gathered. The leaders too. And some visitors came to give us another session, our ” Career Orientation”, Ate Livi and Kuya Ice. ;) I’ll never forget them, just like Ma’am Malou from two years ago. She was a good speaker. It’s a good thing that WCC-QC hire Christian employees, siguro nagkakataon lang, pero I think sa Human Relations Office hila dun, a lot are Christians. ^.~

So the session ended. Six were awarded — The most behaved: Percival and Jun Jun; the most cooperative: Martney and I ^_______^; The most polite: Aleli; From preventing on being biased the leaders awarded the cleanliness award to the boys’ room; Gab, MC, James and Jun Jun with Sir William. ;)
So that was it — we took our baths got to our bus and went home. HOME BOUND. ;)
That was the little story of our retreat, these are just partial of what happened, but we’ll forever treasure that event in our memories and hearts.

Good luck sa Prom, CAT Graduation and Graduation! Aja Fourth Year Matthew!

Bottom Line: We’re still all in this together. Somehow. Hahahaha.

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